My Grandmother

I have a grandma . . .
who hugs, kisses, smiles and says, "My, how you've grown" whenever she sees
me.
but not anymore . . .

I have a grandma . . .
who plays in the creek at deer camp and helps me catch Cray fish without
going eeewww.
but not anymore . . .

I have a grandma . . .
who can teach me how to play solitaire three different ways and not snitch
if I cheat.
but not anymore . . .

I have a grandma . . .
who tells the most wonderful stories, snorts when she laughs, and has a
joke with four punch lines.
but not anymore . . .

I have a grandma . . .
who drives a sporty purple car, very fast just to make me and my sister
laugh out loud.
but not anymore . . .


I miss you grandma..

How i feel about you

Every one has a destiny to find.
looking in your eyes I have found mine.
You're all I ever wanted,
you're all I'll ever need.

Some days are easy,while others are hard.
The hand we play from dealing the cards.
I'll stand by you no matter how long and how hard.
We are like the notes to a song.
Creating a melody for everyone to hear.

When i m with you its like nothing else matters.
When i m with you i feel something so special that i have NEVER felt like with any other guy
when i m with you i m always happy.
when you hold me i feel love.

When i first kissed you i knew i would fall in love with u.
when you kiss me i know i'll love you.
when kissing you,you are the only person i want to be with
when are lips touch all negativeity goes away and every kiss is life lasting.

Can I fade in your arms?
Can I get lost in your eyes?
Cause when I'm with you.
I just melt away.

I need you for you can wash away my pain,and i will do the same.
I need you more and more each day.
I need you for you are so wonderful, in every single way.

I'd said something and i cant take it back.

i met someone. he is someone truly special. he was a friend. he was my roommate. he was someone a had a huge crushed on. he is my boyfriend. 


i don't know what he done to me but i am crazily in love with him. he makes me happy. when I'm with him, its like nothing else in the world matters anymore. spending time with him its what i want. i don't even care if i don't get to watch my favourite movie or going out shopping with friends and family or going out partying. 


recently,i have been having my own problems. this time i didn't let him get involve. i was mad at the whole situation and it is a mistake that i let it go on him. i couldn't control my anger or temper any longer. and so,i have said some mean stuff to him. things that i cant take it back. i didn't realised he will get this infected by what i have said to him. because of what i said he is not talking to me. he is confused about his feelings. and that we are not even seeing each other. i need to see him. i need to talk to him.i want to tell him that i am truly sorry. i never want all of this to happen. ever since the incident, i have been having sleepless nights, not really focusing on what's happening around me, i have been going out and get myself drunk and have not been eating any proper food. i don't know what i am supposed to do without him right. right now i feel like the whole is tumbling down on me. all of this sucks. 


now, all i ever want is to have him back. i just want us to get back to where we used to be. i miss being around him. i am willingly to do anything just to get back where we're supposed to be. 

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry if ever i take you for granted.
I'm sorry if i ever mad you mad.
I'm sorry if you are confused.
I'm sorry for everything i did or say to you.
I'm sorry for all the trouble i had cause.
I'm sorry for all the times i cried.
I'm sorry for not always being there for you.
I'm sorry for hurting you.
I'm sorry for all the heartaches.
I'm sorry for not listening to you.
I'm sorry that i miss you so much.
I'm sorry that i miss your touch.
I'm sorry that i miss looking at you.
I'm sorry that i miss hearing your voice.
I'm sorry that i complaints all the time.
I'm sorry that i let you down.
I'm sorry that fussed all the time.
I'm sorry that i disappoint you.
I'm sorry that i keep on saying i'm sorry.
I'm sorry that things are not going so well for us.
BUT
I am not sorry that i met you.
I am not sorry that i liked you.
I am not sorry that i fell in love with you.
I am not sorry that i love you.
I am not sorry  that i am not giving up.
I am not sorry for letting you in.
I am not sorry for loving you with all my being.

Life is all about..

Some people might say life sucks
or life is full of shit
While other people say life is beautiful
or life is full of surprises
I must say, I agree with all those
Life is whatever you think of it..and everything you think of it
Life is what you make it of it and what you say of it.

Life is about sadness
Life is about happiness
Life is about pain
Life is about loss
Life is about smiling
Life is about crying
Life is about love
Life is about laughter
Life is about learning from your mistakes
Life is miserable
Life is horrible
Life is dumb
Life is awesome
Life is depressing
Life is tears
Life is sorrow
Life is anxiety
Life is Bullshit
Life stinks
Life sucks
I could go on and on and tell you all about life
But I'm not here to sort this out for you
Because
Life is all about you and how you treat it
You criticize it...well, you're actually criticizing yourself
You like it, you hate it..well, its all up to you
Life is you so be careful how you describe it

Finally

When i first noticed you, i quickly looked away because you caught me watching you. It happened many times on that day. And so i decided i just couldn't look at you anymore. The next week, i saw you again. Still i couldn't look at you because you had caught me watching you the last time. Finally, awhile later, i saw you again and this time i called for you. You walked me to the train station and accompany me while i have my dinner. We talked for an hour or two and those were the best hours even if it was just for a short while. A few weeks later, we started talking again and we have spent more hours together. But what's more important is when i told you that i had a feeling for you and you starts holding my hands and as we were walking, you held my hand and i started to talk too much and biting my lips for being nervous and all of a sudden you just kissed me. When you kiss me, i have not a care in the world. Nothing really matters at that moment. Every kiss were the same. No matter how many. I could look into your eyes as long as i want. Your eyes say so much and you even allow me to look deep into them. You make me melt. I just wish i could tell you to never leave. And watching you walked away only gets me so excited when you walk into the room again. This is what i have been missing out in my life. This feeling us indescribable. I awoke in the morning to you, i didn't want to move an inch, ever. It seems too good to be true. But every time when i see you, it keeps getting better and better.