I'd said something and i cant take it back.

i met someone. he is someone truly special. he was a friend. he was my roommate. he was someone a had a huge crushed on. he is my boyfriend. 


i don't know what he done to me but i am crazily in love with him. he makes me happy. when I'm with him, its like nothing else in the world matters anymore. spending time with him its what i want. i don't even care if i don't get to watch my favourite movie or going out shopping with friends and family or going out partying. 


recently,i have been having my own problems. this time i didn't let him get involve. i was mad at the whole situation and it is a mistake that i let it go on him. i couldn't control my anger or temper any longer. and so,i have said some mean stuff to him. things that i cant take it back. i didn't realised he will get this infected by what i have said to him. because of what i said he is not talking to me. he is confused about his feelings. and that we are not even seeing each other. i need to see him. i need to talk to him.i want to tell him that i am truly sorry. i never want all of this to happen. ever since the incident, i have been having sleepless nights, not really focusing on what's happening around me, i have been going out and get myself drunk and have not been eating any proper food. i don't know what i am supposed to do without him right. right now i feel like the whole is tumbling down on me. all of this sucks. 


now, all i ever want is to have him back. i just want us to get back to where we used to be. i miss being around him. i am willingly to do anything just to get back where we're supposed to be.